i have been changed FOR GOOD

One Redeeming Moment....

2005-12-14T19:29:00.000-08:00

I've been to the toughest and fiercest choral competitions in the world, lost it and won it, breezed-thru it. But I have never been this nervous and happy to this one specific competition I have ever joined, the UST Intercollegiate Choir Competition. Funny eh? Peculiar? Maybe its just a so-so local university competition but because in this case, I am the one who is handling and conducting the choir...It is totally different from singing as a chorister as to handling the whole group organizationally and musically. But dont get me wrong, all the achievements I got as a chorister will never tarnish and are all special and irreplaceable!

It's been real time stress for me since I've got all the odds prior to this competition. Had family problems, personal and professional issues, crisis and all that hula-baloo, but lo' and behold, we still won! I felt, it is such a personal achievement handling and training these especially talented people whose careers are geared towards medical and paramedical sciences but shares the same passion with mine.....Music.

I congratulate you all my children - the present bacth of the UST Pharmacy Glee Club. I love you all!

Rants Outide my Comfort Zone

2005-10-30T19:37:00.000-08:00

Truly, we appreciate things if they are already gone. Taking things for granted has always been part of dealing with circumstances, situations and events in our lives and we usually accepts it as if we were bound to do it. On a personal note, I am guilty of this and I am very much sorry for myself, for letting me get ‘used to’ things which are tangible and important to me and ended up crying-the moment I realize that they’re gone.

Troubled times and chaotic situation nowadays has made me melancholic. I’m on a situation wherein I realize that getting back to your own-self, alone, is imperative. Never did I plan it nor ask it; all I realized was that, I’m all alone now. No, not totally and permanently, but the idea of being alone makes you want to crawl down to bed and just sleep it over and wake up the following morning with a fresh new start. How I wish it is that easy, but it’s not.

These made me think, that all the while I thought I was strong and independent, I was not. Reality bites. All these times, I gathered that I was just hiding inside the four walls of my comforts. Who doesn’t want to feel comfortable, anyway? No one in this world wants discomfort that given the chance to bum around the box of comforts would be the easiest and smartest way to feel secured and okay.

It’s a cliché to say that when one is growing up; he should learn how to be independent. But what can you say if you already thought you were but you suddenly realized you weren’t? Complex!? It simply spells F-E-A-R. Fear always gets in the way especially when we are most unprepared. It strikes like a thief. Just when we thought that everything is perfect in life, suddenly fear pops up our head and starts to attack our sanity and integrity. This makes us weak and lame and ends up being losers. Again, I thought that if one could learn to fight his fears, then life would be simple and easy.

to be cont'd.

couldn't be more proud....

2005-10-12T06:37:00.000-07:00

Damn! She's a Filipina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BOORDAY!

2005-10-05T21:43:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEXANDER EDWARD DELA CRUZ DRILON!

YAN NA YUNG CAKE MO SINCE BAKA WALA MAGBIGAY NG CAKE SAYO JAN!

I got the ultimate WICKED Video Clip ever! bleeeeh!

2005-08-13T12:06:00.000-07:00

Finally, I uploaded one of the most important videos for me.

----------------> see it! love it! (its right under my profile - WICKED CLIP)

how do u spell S T A G N A N T ?

2005-08-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

The 25th Annual Putman Spelling Bee is making waves on Broadway while I am sucking my own time, thinkin'.....what the fuck is making me so lazy to write anything in here!?

Ponder these pictures...

2005-08-01T02:56:00.000-07:00

Guys, look at these pictures, two gay teenagers were subjected to Death Sentence by Hanging. This horrific and disturbing picture was taken minutes before the actual hanging (July 19, 2005).

These two boys were only indentified thru their initials, A.M. who is 18 and M.A. who is about 16 or 17.

These boys, according to the Iranian Government, committed the "crime" of homosexuality. These "crime" is subjected to Death Sentence to any form. Consensual gay sex in any form is punishable by death in the Islamic Republic of Iran. According to the website Age of Consent, which monitors such laws around the world, in Iran "Homosexuality is illegal, those charged with love-making are given a choice of four deathstyles: being hanged, stoned, halved by a sword, or dropped from the
highest perch.

This second photo was taken while the two boys are being transfered to the Execution Square where the whole public can witness the execution. Look at the apparent grief that is evident at the faces of these two young boys.

However, the Iranian authorities are putting out a cover story that the two boys had participated in the rape of a 13-year-old, but report affirms that this accusation is a smokescreen for inhuman conduct and is without foundation.

According to Iranian human rights campaigners, over 4,000 lesbians and gay men have been executed since the Ayatollahs seized power in 1979. "Altogether, an estimated 100,000 Iranians have been put to death over the last 26 years of clerical rule. The victims include women who have sex outside of marriage and political opponents of the Islamist government.

What can you say about this? This is a total crime against Humanity. We cannot bring these boys back to life. The injustice against them is complete, total, and irrevocable.

2005-07-27T20:13:00.000-07:00

nice ba? hehe, one of my last pictures with the group. i personally like this photo
because of one special thing - and im not saying it here. ask me privately and
i will tell you why. bleeeeh!

Antoinette Perry

2005-07-27T19:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know, its way too late to write something about this year's Tony Awards. Well, let me say, it is one of the annual events I've been looking forward to and it always happen to fall on the last days of spring - my most favorite season.

The biggest winners these year for the Musical Theatre are Spamalot, The Light in the Piazza, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, La Cage Aux Folles and The 25th...Spelling Bee.

I personally like The Light in the Piazza. But still, Im the biggest WICKED fanatic ever!

How I wasted the month of June...

2005-07-27T06:17:00.000-07:00

Its July and I look, I've wasted the whole month of June whithout writing anything.

I could have just put all the anger and hatred that I felt in this past mponth for one person, actually two, no, three! wait, four!!! - dont know how many they were/are. Anyway, to hell with them!

this depicts somewhat what I feel for them-
they know who they are! nice pic though!

Actually, that's not the reason why I am reviving this blog. T'was because Daj inspired me to write something again(he got his own blog also!)... and, needless to say, thanks to the ever present spirit of boredom-

I hate it when now, all of the things that were stocked up on my head are all pouring out like puss coming out involuntarily from an over bloated and inflamed comedo.

I could have written something about the past few events that have shaped the country (ahenm ahem sounds corny 'eh?) ok, ok, I could have written something about the events that somewhat caught my attention.

Zzzzzz! I'll write it tomorrow.

Auf Wiedersehn! Tschuss!!

A dream I never realized that happened...

2005-05-18T11:14:00.000-07:00

Since I started reading the encyclopedia, around my late intermediate years, I am always fascinated with topography and studies of natural wonders of a country's landscape. Makes you think I was weirdo then, neh!? Anyway, everyone of us, of course, has been an owner of a good ol' World Map isn't it ? (If you never had any, then curse your teachers in elementary). And as Asians, we're always somewhat "interested" on what is out there - westward. Looking to the west of a map, we see a catchy, huge continent which is known as the Americas - which is eventually partitioned into South, Central and North. And of this great continent, lies a super power country (Im still a patriotic Filipino - so you just know...) which is of course the US. And when I was young, I imagine how to travel this very huge single-mass country by train or by wheels or even by feet (its very much impossible to do that in the Philippines cause we're literally islanded...That idea haunted me for years and up to this day, I never thought I was able to do it. Starting from the golden sunny west coast, we traverse the mountains, vallies and hills of the Mountian Side, sprinted the plateau and prairies of the Midwest and Central, towards the culminating sojourn to the glitzy east coast. Its unbelievable to note that a single country has 4 different time zones and how it changes with a meter gap in every borders. Im very thankful to be given a chance to do it (whithout really planning and preparing for it - for it wasn't really the reason why are we here in the US). Anyway, Im just lucky and thankful.

I thank you God for most this amazing times in my Life.

Im Stupid!

2005-05-17T10:21:00.000-07:00

Whats the sense of creating a blog, if you can not maintain and update it...ha! Ask me and I'll give you a slap on your face. :)

Me: "I feel so stupid of not having the freedom and time to continually keep up my blog. Damn stress..."

My Conscience: "Whatever, it's just sheer laziness."

Me: "But in anyway, I have to forgive myself...I don't own my time now, we're always busy..."

My Conscience: "Stupid! you can always do your rants, even for 10 minutes...you're just lazy"

Me: "Im not lazy!!! Im in fact very responsible, its just I have no time"

My Conscience: "Dont give me that I-don't-have-my-time-f*#k!-reason - you're just lazy - bum - !"

So you have just witnessed the battling dialogue in my head right now - at least you have the idea dealing with Bi-Polar peoole like me. Sometimes, I feel like listening to my conscience - it always tells the truth! haha!

On another note, kidding aside, we're really busy, travelling and transferring from a place to another in a 5-day interval is somewhat no joke. But good thing is, the tour is halfway thru...Im very much looking forward to the day when I can get back my life again.

Im still the biggest fan of WICKED!!!!

The Tony Awards will be on June 5, telecast live over ABC.

Spamalot has the highest number of nomination this years with 14 under its belt.

Sutton foster is eventually nominated for Best Actress in Musical for the second time now for Little Women.

Im in crisis now, I don't know which musical should I watch (needless to say, the impedimantary considerations with regard to my budget.) - Dirty Rotten Scoundrels [John Lithgow, Norbert Leo Butz (the original Fiyero of Wicked), Sherie Rene Scott (the original Amneris of Aida) and Joana Gleason (the original Baker's Wife of Into the Woods] or Little Women [Sutton Foster (the original Millie of Thouroughly Modern Millie) Maureen McGovern (a pop singer here in the US)] or Sapamalot [Tim Curry (the guy in Home Alone and Charlie's Angels 1 - who the hell doesn't know Tim Curry!???)] or 12th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee (which star's our very own Jose Llana) or Chity-Chity Bang Bang (with a super flying car) or Sweet Charity (which star's Christina Applegate - if you don't know her-then you can die now! joke!) or Forbidden Broadway (the show that sling's-arrow all other shows in Broadway).

Well, as I can see it - I will not be able to see any of the shows I mentioned...I just have a strong intuition.

Help me.

Requiem: Losing a Father for the second time.

2005-04-04T19:08:00.000-07:00

For another moment in my life, I lost a man which I secretly considered my own father since I lost my real father when I was four. Tears can not really justify the mourning I feel right now.

I know that the whole world is sharing with me the grief and sorrow of losing the Man who untiringly lead us to the path of righteousness and mediated us to our creator.

He was the only tangible link between us and the God who created us all.

Here are some of my most treasured pictures while he was still alive. Last year, I had the luckiest oppurtunity to see him in full flesh.

Enjoying every mimute of the time while giving His homily, projected over the big monitor.

Eagerly awaiting the traditional "Papal Parade" for the audience of the Pope. Nice uniforms for the Swiss Guards!

Excitement covers me the moment I saw His Carriage.

Here He was, just inches away from me. You should have seen the tears flowing from my very eyes while taking this shot.

We love you Pope John Paul II!!!

Holy Monday

2005-03-21T22:20:00.000-08:00

Everyone,

I just want to tell you that the Holy Week is one of my personal favorites in the whole Gregorian Calendar.

There is so much to do out of the seven days in this special week.
Our town is famous for the "Prusisyon", commemorating and depicting the final days of Christ. With 65 (as in SIXTY FIVE) lavish "carrozas" and unimaginable volume of candles, flowers and bulb lights all together, whew! Its indeed an ironic celebration of Christ's Passion. I promise to post some pictures of the carrozas here.

This blog is to be continued...

Not everyone likes swimming...

2005-03-16T14:08:00.000-08:00

....but I do, BIG TIME!

Dang!

It's officially summer! For me, if its the week right before the Holy Week, its indeed the start of all the fun and hot vacations for everyone....but not for me....

Dang!

We're very busy preparing for our concert trip to US and Korea in April! Ergo, not so much reasons to plan long retreats and outings. Whuwaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?

Dang!

I like ABS-CBN more than GMA, but hey, ABS' Summer Station ID sucks BIG TIME!

Ano akala nyo sa ibang PILIPINO - Tanga?????? Dont fool us with your "original concept".....kinopya lang nila yung concept na yun sa STOMP (isang OFF Broadway musical about Drum and Beat Innovations using commen household tools and stuff). Nakakaasar ha!

DANG!

Just before leaving for the tour, I wanna plunge myself into a cool fresh extra blue swmming poooooooooooooooooooool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good thing, it's still winter in Korea and it's spring cold in the US.

...ought to be read afar.

2005-03-07T08:32:00.000-08:00

cool.

Confessions of a closet fanatic...

2005-02-22T20:19:00.000-08:00

Die erste, its been awhile since my last rant but in anyway let me congratulate the UST Athletes and the IPEA for doing a great job in the 2004-2005 season of the UAAP. We made it again for the *nth time - the UAAP Overall Champions!

Okay, fine, let me tell you that Im a closet, die-hard Athletic slash Sports fanatic (especially in the collegiate level, i.e. our very own UAAP and US' NCAA).

I clearly remember those times that I barely miss a single game watching Basketball, Cheerdancing (go Salinggawi yeah!) and some popular sporting events back in college. Name it...... Araneta, PSC Ultra, Cuneta, Ateneo Gym, UST Gym....I've been to those UAAP venues (together with my equally die hard classmates from Biochemistry). I am extremely proud to be part of those singing, shouting, cheering and jeering voices that inspired our athletes (at the same time despised the competitor/s) and eventually win (but in basketball, most of the time - loss) their game.

Just about a couple of weeks ago, I was in the UST Gym, watched the taekwondo and judo events and can't help myself of doing nostalgic reminiscence....haha, para akong tanga - mag isa lang ako.

Ah basta - Congrats sa UST! Teka, pang ilang over all championship na ba ng USTe yan? Hay nako, sana sa basketball naman manalo na ulit tayo!

That's swell!

2005-02-18T01:57:00.001-08:00

Just came from the concert in CCP, and I am extremely tired. I really can't explain the exhaustion I'm having now, maybe im withdrawing from the adrenalin rush we had when we're performing. I have a contorted sight now....this is not good!

Damn! I need to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

Anyhow, life tonight was swell!

Enteng has to sleep now.

2005-02-16T22:09:00.000-08:00

I have to sleep early tonight - got a performance tomorrow...

Nighty!

Break a leg dear AS!

Festa Musicale 2002 - Olomouc, Czech Republic

2005-02-15T12:29:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, I just tried to embed the Windows Media Player on my Blog - many thanks to Mitzi!!!

This Video is the Awarding ceremony of the winners of the 2002 Festa Musicale - Olomouc International Choir Competiton in Czech Republic. We're (the UST Singers) in the video - the only asian participants of the competition, just click on the middle part till the end. Enjoy!

Between Vigilance and Paranoia

2005-02-15T11:31:00.000-08:00

First of all, let me give you a very warm Valentines greetings!

Okay, okay, not so much reason to celebrate (not that I don't have a date! I had a wonderful time last night! Bleeeh!) since we all know that there were about 15 dead people out of a hundred injured from the simultaneous (and seemingly planned) bombings in Makati, Davao and General Santos City last night. What a day to remember!

After my date (yeah, I had a date!!!!!!! yahoo! with Daj, Anezka, Engel, Dino, Kuya Jojie and Kuya Noel. What a blast!) the moment I arrived in the house, I rushed in front of the TV to watch the news about the bombing. As the horrifying stills and videos unfold in my very sight, I thought, what if I was there? I reckon that I suggested (while on the planning stage where to go and eat out) to go somewhere in Makati. Anyway, and so it happened. But why on Valentines Day (and why do it on anyday?) Wala ba silang date kaya frustrated at kaya sila nagpapasabog??? or wala lang sila talagang mga puso? Hehehe!

Spiel aside, the PNP (Philippine National Police) Chief was interviewed and the only thing he said was "nabutasan kami" (we were attacked from behind) - naturally, defending his squad. And worst, he told the public to just be MORE VIGILANT! Shit, vigilant my ass! Today, we can not see the difference between being-vigilant and being-paranoid! Thanks to the very very effective security force we have in our country.

Anyway, Happy Hearts Day to everyone!

All I Ask of You

2005-02-12T08:55:00.000-08:00

(this is considered as one of the most moving dialogues and best duets in the movie-history and the musical stage.)

RAOUL: No more talk of darkness, forget these wide-eyed fears. I'm here, nothing can harm you my words will warm and calm you. Let me be your freedom,let day light dry your tears, I'm here,with you, beside you,to guard you and to guide you . . .

CHRISTINE: Say you love me every waking moment, turn my head with talk of summertime . . .Say you need me with you, now and always . . .promise me that all you say is true - that's all I askof you . . .

RAOUL: Let me be your shelter, let me be your light. You're safe: No one will find you, your fears are far behind you . . .

CHRISTINE: All I want is freedom, a world with no more night . . .and you always beside me to hold me and to hide me . . .

RAOUL: Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime . . .Iet me lead you from your solitude . . .Say you need me with you here, beside you . . .anywhere you go,let me go too - Christine,that's all I ask of you . . .

CHRISTINE: Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime . . .say the word and I will follow you . . .

BOTH: Share each day with me, each night, each morning . . .

CHRISTINE: Say you love me . . .

RAOUL: You know I do . . .

BOTH: Love me - that's all I ask of you . . .

Le Fantome de L'opera

2005-02-11T23:57:00.000-08:00

Emma Rossum (The Day After Tommorow) as Christine Daae and Gerard Butler (Lara Croft) as the Phantom.

I've got one word for the movie - Bravissimo!

Should I dance or should I just stick to the topic?

2005-02-10T23:55:00.000-08:00

this poster's so nice. the title is written in something russian.

When I was in New York last summer, along the streets of Manhattan hung billboards and posters of the motion picture "Shall We Dance ?" of Gere, Sarandon and Lopez. The movie was about to have its premiere but I was not able to see it because of the unimaginable schedule we had when we were there (of the 6 days we had, 4 days were all concerts and performances - luckily and consolingly, we were able to do a full concert at the St. Patricks Cathedral! Sosyal!). But because I am a self confessed zealot of the Great White Stages of Broadway, I was able to squeeze in my share of bliss watching 3 musicals that I fell in love with( how I wish you could see the smile on my face while typing this sentence). Anyway, back to the topic - so in short, I left New York whithout seeing the movie.

Five months later until about an hour ago (look at the time I wrote this blog), Daj and I left the cinema smiling. Personally, I can not explain the simple happiness we had that very moment. I just realized while on the way home, it was because of the movie we just saw - can you guess what it was? "Shall we dance?" Hahahahahaha! (how late!) The movie was nice - very nice if I may say! Made me think of considering to take dance lessons and strut my stuff donned with tight fitting pants/shirts and a pair of dancing shoes. Anyhow, Richard Gere is very sexy (as always) leaving me wanting myself to be as youthful and charming as HE is when I reach mid-life. Susan Sarandon is brilliant (with an Oscar on her belt - what do you expect?) - and J.Lo is THE dancer (gee, whatever Marc Anthony! I look better than you do!) she's ooooooozing and radiating with ultimate female hormones and absolute sexiness! Okay, okay - Im not here to give you my review about the film (and besides, I don't know how to do one) Im just ecstatic about the effect the movie (however simple it was) had, on me.

Makes me want to:

- take dance lessons (gosssh, not feasible - I'll just stay singing). But might consider again since I have a secret yearning of conquering broadway soon (lalalalalalala!).

- buy a dvd copy of the movie (siempre pirated nalang).

- go to chicago and see if there's a real Miss Mitzi's Dance Studio there (damn serious!).

Made me realize that:

- even though a person is already happy with his/her own life, there will always be a time wherein he/she will feel that there is something lacking or find him/herself longing for something, it is because WE (humans) are vulnerable.

- there is someone up there guiding us. HE's the only one who can give us absolute happiness and contenment.

- how lucky and happy I am being with someone I have exactly prayed for.

- the next time I write another blog, I should stick to the topic (grrrrrrrrrh, there are so many things that pop-up in my head and the only thing I can do is write them here!!!!!!!!!).

Exploiting cliche.

2005-02-09T22:53:00.000-08:00

Since everybody's using the internet as an effective medium for advertisements, I might as well do my own plugging and exploit the free ad space over the blogger! Hahaha! That's what you learn from a country with an absolute democracy...exploit, exploit and exploit! Sad but true.

Anyway and by the way, I belong to a choir that represent our school (which is located somewhere along the Espana Boulevard in Manila) . We have a performance on the 17th of February at 8 o'clock in the evening at the Main Theatre of the cultural hub of the country, the CCP.

We'll be perfoming along with the most virtuosic choral ensembles (mostly/incidentally from the different universities across the Philippines) we have in the country.

As the infamous cliche goes: "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!", that's what I did. Bleeeeh! :)

The curtain calls.

2005-02-08T22:08:00.000-08:00

While on the way to our choir's rehearsal, I went to the little canteen located right beside the back stage of the Recital Hall and served my own gastronomic demands. As I was nibbling the super dooper special Ube Hopia (I didn't intentionally eat hopia beacuse its Chinese New Year but anyhow Kong Hey Fat Choi!) a couple of music students from the conservatory were hurrying in and out of the back stage, I wondered. They weren't panicking cause of a fire or something catastrophic, it was because they are having a performance and the show was on going. Right on the main door of the hall, the poster attached to it says "Curtain Call - Songs of Broadway". I immediately rushed inside the auditorium knowing that it would be entertaining to watch because if there's one song I know that fits me well, it is the "Broadway Baby" (from the musical FOLLIES) Im really a broadway/musical theatre buff! But to my dismay (okay, they have talents! but hey, they're music students right!?) most of the performers didn't know what they are doing. Are they singing or what!? Im sorry for sounding judgemental or whatever term you wanna put to my account, but I think they really should rehearse or re-rehearse if there's a second chance of doing again their show. Maybe I was just expecting too much but my golly, they're music students! Okay, there were some good apples among the bunch of the performers but still...urrggh!

Some people really don't know the the demands of a performance and the big and not-so-easy responsibility it entails. The curtain always calls for a performance worth the time and effort of the performer and/or the supports regardless of how big or small the show is. It is but natural to prepare for it, and preparing is not just to practice but to REHEARSE! Mediocrity has no place on the stage. The curtain calls for those who put their heart and soul to their craft. But it is not an easy task, I tell you. One must spend hours, days, weeks, months or even years for an endeavor he/she considers as a sacred calling. Its funny and peculiar for most of the time, performers only ask the single compensation he/she whishes to have - the applause and approval of the audience he/she is performing to. We performers only ask a favorable reception and acceptance as an acknowledgement of our effort. We even sometimes forget monetary complements (honoraria et.al) haha! But hey, artists need it.

So my dears, if time comes and the stage opens its curtain and calls you to grace its floors again, bear in mind that you're just good as you're last performance so prepare for it. Give your best shot! And never forget to pray to the one who has given you all the talents you're enjoying...

Bored. Begin. Mantra.

2005-02-07T20:36:00.000-08:00

Voila!

It took me a year and a half to finally convince myself to create my own space here in the ever amusing and intriguing world wide web or should I say "Porno Matrix" (later on, you'll understand why I called the internet as such).

Bored.

Daj (my Voldemort - "you know who"...enough of this mushiness!) is now 4 meters under this room (nope! hey! what are you thinking!? he's just downstairs, I mean).

He's giving his USMLE-whatsoever-the-name-is-book the respect it deserves - to be studied accordingly! And I think, he even have to worship whatever that is written in there( haha! Okay, Im being OA, pero he should study na ng sobra!). He must! I support! No complaining...

Begin.

I am here in the room, listening to the CD recording of the broadway musical I really really really really love - WICKED but BORED. That CD used to automatically pump me up the moment I hear the first note of the overture as it progresses to fortissimos of the first cut of the cd - NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED, but for some reason, this very moment is an exemption. Im still bored. But hey, thanks to this boredom, I was virtually moved onto the keyboard and finally, affirmingly decide to give this damn idea of doing a blogger a shot!

Mantra.

He must! I support. No complaining...

Eins Vier Drei Daj!